Daily Disappointments

Pet peeves, complaints, irritants, problems…no matter what you call them everyone has insignificant things that people do that annoy them. Things that in the grand scheme of life are not that big of a deal, but they are annoying none-the-less. Spoiler Alert… Believe it or not…I, Barrie Bismark, get annoyed very easily. I figured that no one would want to read a blog post called “The 1 billion things that annoy the shit out of Barrie”… so I had to whittle it down a little to my top 23. 

1. Meetings that could have been emails. Why do we have to waste everyone’s time? A simple, well thought out email could have been sufficient. 
2. Loud breathers. Just stop. It is not supposed to be heard from across the room. 
3. Mimes. What is funny about pretending you are stuck in a box? And why is your face white? I don’t understand.
4. Young people that walk around in droopy-assed pants and exposed underwear. You look like a joke. 
5. Close talkers. Back the F up. You don’t need to be 6 inches from my face to tell me a story.
6. People that stagger from side to side aimlessly when walking in a crowd. Move over and pay attention. 
7. Everyone at Walmart. Everyone.
8. Mumblers. Please enunciate. I don’t know what you are saying.
9. Clipping your fingernails at work. Do this in your own bathroom AT HOME. Please. 
10. Grown adults that gossip and spread rumors, especially at work. Oh, your feelings are hurt because some offended your unwarranted sense of entitlement? GROW UP, grab a keenex and wipe your pansy tears, and deal like everyone else. 
11. Lawn ornaments/decorations. Especially gnomes. Why do you even like them? What do they offer you that makes you want to scatter them around your yard? 
12. People that don’t understand how to use the credit card machines at stores. Why is this hard? Swipe and select credit. Two buttons and then sign. It’s pretty simple. 
13. Using speaker phones in an office setting. Why do you want the world to hear your entire conversation? Is it for attention? Or is it just so hard to hold the pone up to your ear? Please explain.
14. Socks and sandals. Why? It defeats the purpose of sandals. 
15. Baby/Wedding shower games. I just hate them. 
16. Yellow Starbursts. They are not even good. I am pretty sure most people are genuinely disappointed when they open the mini pack on Halloween and find two yellows. 
17. Getting a voice mail that just says “call me back”. Please, tell me what you want so I can prepare and just send you an email or text instead. I don’t want to talk to you.
18. People that are happy in the morning. Why? It’s the morning. 
19. Folks that leave their Christmas lights on after New Year’s. Turn that shit off.
20. People who don’t make eye contact. What are you looking at over there behind me and off to the right? It must be amazing since you won’t stop looking.
21. People that stop three car lengths behind the car in front of them. Why? Do you think you are going to do an emergency turn-around? Just move up or give me a valid reason why you do this. It’s annoying.
22. People who get confused and change their minds when ordering fast food. Really? How hard is it?
23. Small talk. I don’t want to talk about my weekend plans with you, bank stranger. Just cash my check and let me be on my way to do something fun…which is not talking to you.

So, please, stop doing things that annoy me. Thanks.