- I won’t let the kids play in the construction site across the street.
- I won’t let them eat candy and granola bars for breakfast. I’m so mean.
- I made chicken nuggets for dinner. How could I be so stupid.
- I didn’t make chicken nuggets for dinner. Again...fail.
- I wouldn’t let her go to school wearing two different shoes (that would be a rain boot and a dress up princess shoe).
- I wouldn’t let her play with Vaseline and wiped off what she just smeared all over herself and the carpet.
- I forgot about “red shirt” day at school. Another life ruined by my stupidity.
- I won’t let the 8-year-old ride his bike alone around the neighborhood.
- Because she broke the banana I gave her. Now it’s ruined. Failed again.
- I asked her to put on her shoes. Asshole.
- She got wet while running through the sprinkler.
- Her binky is too “spicy”…what?
- I looked at her while she was singing.
- I wouldn’t buy him a pack of old baseball cards from 1991 for $10 at a garage sale. Asshole.
- I took them out to dinner for pizza. Didn’t know they hated pizza.
- I signed him up to play basketball because he asked me to. NEWS FLASH! He HATES basketball now…Um. Ok. I’m an asshole.
- I told her she has to brush her hair.
- I took them to a parade and it took too long to start. Yep. It’s my fault.
- I wouldn’t give her a Band Aid for the non-existent “bump” on her leg. Worst mom ever.
- I couldn’t make her frozen toast. Asshole.
- I left to go buy HER a birthday present. How could I.
- Because I said he can’t wear sweatpants to church. It’s not like I asked him to wear dress slacks. Just jeans and not sweatpants.
- I told her should cold not have green olives and salami in her bed for a snack at 9:30 p.m. GO TO BED!
- I told him he couldn’t pee in the front yard and had to use the toilet. Asshole.
There you have it. Is this enough proof? I’m a total asshole.
This was hilarious. ha ha!
ReplyDeleteYou were just being Mum :P
Ha! Yes...just being a mom. Things can get pretty crazy!
DeleteGuess what Barrie. I too am an asshole. I cannt get over this. I mean, I am a lot of things, but whoa, asshole. Thanks for pointing this out to me. The world is a crazy place now. Oy vey iz mir. From one asshole to another, I sure hope we have a good, if not meh, weekend.
ReplyDeleteI too couldn't believe that I was an asshole...who knew? Ha! Thanks for reading.
Delete