I first noticed you several years ago when I looked in
the mirror to put on my make-up one morning. There it was...something black poking out of my
chin. At first, I thought maybe you were just a stray hair, one that I could just brush you
away. But then you didn’t brush. That is when I had the horrifying realization that
you were attached. To my chin. My 20-something year old chin. There you were in all your
coarse, black glory sprouting your prickly head out of the bottom of my chin.
Of course I immediately plucked you away and just assumed you were a rogue,
one-time visitor. But you were not. You kept coming back, for years...and now, I’ve
had enough. I want you to know that I truly hate your guts. Really. I fricking hate you with every fiber of my being.
Where do you come from? Why do you think that my chin
is a good place to call your home? Everyone knows that women are not supposed
to have facial hair. Perhaps you are seriously confused. I’m not a man. Let me
prove it to you. I can’t do any of the things that men can do…like I can’t pee standing
up; I don’t adjust myself in public; I don’t greet people by looking at their
chests; and I didn’t have a beard…at least until you started showing up
unannounced and unwelcome on my chin.
Now, I know that one measly black chin hair every now
and again is not the end of the world. Maybe not to you anyway. But I
don’t want you. I never wanted you. All you are is a terrible reminder that I am
slowly turning into a masculine old hag. A reminder that things just steadily
go downhill as we age. A reminder that I will just get fatter, sweatier, and
hairier with each passing day. It’s only a matter of time. What’s next, a mustache? Don't get any ideas for your little friends.
So, despicable, nasty black chin hair. I loathe you. Take the hint and GO AWAY. You are not welcome to take residence on my chin. Take this
letter as a warning…If
I see you again, I’ll pluck you immediately and possibly consider laser-removal.
Watch it, you asshole.
Love,
Me and my chin
I know I shouldn't laugh, but I am anyway. I just have this vision of you stood in front of your bathroom mirror, ranting at the random chin hair #happynowbloglinkup x
ReplyDeleteThat's accurate! Laugh away. What else can we do? I mean there was a hair growing out of my chin! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI tried to pluck a 3 inch long eyebrow hair the other day and now I only have half an eyebrow on the left side. The struggle is real. #happynow
ReplyDeleteHa! The struggle is real. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteGetting older is a total f**king BLAST!
ReplyDeleteSure is. Who wouldn't want a beard?
DeleteI have had some random chin hairs since my 20s as well. Now that I'm in my later 30s I actually go get waxed. It sucks. But it also works! Hormones are wonderful, aren't they? ;)
ReplyDelete#ALittleBitofEverything
The best!
DeleteThanks for dropping by!
ReplyDeleteOh man This is a letter i could use for many strange things that have occcured with my body after thirty = children1 #BloggerClubUK
omg my typing skills and brain need some working on sometimes! 30=children! and I used the wrong hashtag! ugh #BestAndWorst
DeleteHaha! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteAh those pesky chin hairs - I of course have no experience of what you're talking about *ahem* #bestandworse*
ReplyDeleteHaha! I wrote this for a friend. "ahem"..Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteHaha what I would like to know is why is it only one? Where are all your friends? You can tell them to stay in hiding oh thick little hair. For some reason it feels like it goes deeply into my skin haha. Not that I've experienced this :P :P
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if it comes with aging but it's really annoying especially if it's just one random stray hair. I hope it doesn't become more than one though!
ReplyDeleteThat would be horrible. Damn hairs!
DeleteUgh, the pains of getting older! My grandmother used to pluck all those stray hair out! I am actually considering laser treatment.
ReplyDeleteI have to train my kids to pluck them for me!
DeleteAmen! And they pop up freaking over night. What the heck! I have told my children that when I am in the nursing home, they absolutely must trim my chin hair or I will leave them nothing!!
ReplyDeleteI know! They come so quick!
DeleteHey! At least it is not all over your face. And it is not something that really impedes on your beauty. Don't worry too much about it.
ReplyDeleteThis is true! Not all over anyway!
DeleteThis is hilarious! Don't mean to laugh but I really find this post humorous and well expressed. Chin hair might be due to hormomal changes in the body. I found this recipe on google and thought you might want to know. Add 4 tablespoons of honey to this juice and mix it well. Apply this paste on the face or areas where you do not want hair growth. Allow it to rest on your skin for 15 to 20 minutes and then remove the mask with the help of a washcloth that is soaked in lukewarm water.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to laugh. Thanks for the tip! I'll give it a try!
DeleteI waxed them:D F*cking assholes:D
ReplyDeleteThat they are. That they are.
DeleteHaha oh my word you seem to have read more mind on this one! That one hair is such a bloody pain lol!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by!
DeleteSuch a hilarious post filled with lots of humor to make my day. Being in the 40s I am definitely going through lot of such things lately and the only thing we can hope is some healthy options that could help on the long run!
ReplyDeleteIt's all downhill from here, right? Thanks for checking it out!
DeleteHahaaa what bastards these hairs you talk about eh! Thanks for linking up #bestandworst
ReplyDeleteYup! They really are assholes.
Deletehahahaha! i actaully didnt know women had to even worry about that. thought no hair grew on your face...
ReplyDeleteI thought that too!
DeleteYour post made me smile. These chin hairs drive me crazy at times.
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking it out!
DeleteHmm. I've always thought women didn't have facial hairs. Anyway jokes aside. Yeah, those pesky hairs really can spoil your day.
ReplyDeleteYep! They sure can!
DeleteMany women have facial hair and also have health conditions that cause facial hair. I wish society didn't shame women for it.
ReplyDeleteIf I hadn't read this I ultimately wouldn't really think about this..."constant" thing in my life. I accept hair as part of my style but c'mon, there are places where you shouldn't really exist.
ReplyDeleteRight?! Those suckers grow so quick too! Thanks for stopping by!
Deleteno one likes facial hair man or women
ReplyDeleteChin hair is the worst. I have peach fuzz but if a black one shows up, I WILL freak out!!! #EatSleepBlogRT
ReplyDeleteArgh those chin hairs - they are a total anti-joke! Hope your takes this as a warning #eatsleepblogrt
ReplyDelete