Nov 17, 2016

The A+ Toddler

Everyone knows that toddlers can be difficult, unpredictable and even rotten at times. It’s just the way we are at this age. All the learning, discovery, and growing is sometimes just too much for our little brains and bodies to handle. As for me, I’m a go-getter toddler and I strive to be the best at everything I do. Quite frankly, I have nailed this toddler thing. So as a gift to all you B or C level toddlers aspiring to reach A+ status, let me fill you in on my secrets.

THE TODDLER CODE

1. Never, ever eat your dinner. If you liked it yesterday, don’t touch it today. If it is an emergency because you are starving, only eat 3 bites and then ask for a snack 10 minutes later. Parents love that.

2. Make sure you do EVERYTHING yourself. This includes getting dressed, brushing your teeth, putting on your shoes, feeding the animals, even pouring your own glass of milk. If you really want to be top-notch, move at a snail’s pace when your mommy is trying to leave the house.

3. Take out every single puzzle and game in the closet at the same time. Mix up all the pieces and then lose your shit when the wrong puzzle pieces don’t fit together.

Read the rest on Sammiches and Psych Meds! Really, do it. This is funny shit.

16 comments:

  1. Hahaha. Yes those toddlers really know what you want. Love the refusing of eating dinner.....not #FridayFrolics

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  2. toddlers will break you- we should know ;)

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  3. A+ well done!!! Oh gosh they do drive us nuts don''t they!

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  4. Hahaha, so funny! My son is just entering the toddler years, and I can tell I'm in for lots of fun!

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  5. Haha brilliant - making evil plans like these are definitely something toddlers do!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes :)
    Debbie

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  6. Too funny! Toddlers are like tiny drunk people.. They'll drive you nuts! Thanks for sharing :) Great laugh!
    #AnythingGoes

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  7. I think my two have read this!!! They seem to be following the advice to a T! #KCACOLS

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  8. Again what a great and funny post! Popping back from #KCACOLS

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    Replies
    1. Oops! Sorry I linked up the same one twice!

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  9. Haha, these are so true! I'm just relieved my daughter is still in a cot right now else she'd never go to sleep. #KCACOLS

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  10. These are spot on! My youngest is a particular stickler for the rules about getting out of bed 12 times before going to sleep, squirming and screaming at nappy-change time, and not eating food. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.

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  11. Haha brilliant!!! My son is already at that dinner stage and he's only 10 months!!! #KCACOLS

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