Oct 27, 2016

American Horror Story...My Life With a Toddler

It is almost Halloween! Scary movies, haunted houses, and ghosts, ghouls, and goblins are in full force. In the spirit of Halloween, I have been thinking about how my life with my toddler is much like a scene from a horror movie. As the mother of a feisty, red-headed three-year-old, I live some of the same horrifying scenarios every day as you would find in terrifying horror movies. We are stars of our very own American Horror Story.

Blood-Curdling Screams
– A key component to all great horror movies are the blood-curdling scream scenes. At our house, they can be heard at all hours of the night…not because someone is getting chopped into little pieces, but because the toddler wants candy for dinner, the sprinkler got her wet, the cracker broke, or the dog is looking at her. I wonder what the neighbor’s think?

Mysterious Quiet – Just like in any horror movie, when it mysteriously gets a little too quiet, it is a sure sign that something scary is about to happen. Same thing happens at our house. When it is quiet someone is cutting their own hair, drawing all over themselves with permanent marker, or about to burn the house down. Simply terrifying.

Demon-Possessed Behavior– Having a toddler is much like living with a crazed demon. When they are mad they throw themselves to the ground, scream, thrash and flail their limbs, hit, bite, and contort their bodies into seemingly impossible positions. Oh, and don’t forget the surprise projectile vomiting. It is a scene straight from the Exorcist…only in the Target parking lot.

Eerie Toys – Creepy talking dolls, music that turns on all by itself at night, trains with creepy little faces…These things are everywhere. I think they are coming for us. Eeeeek!

Middle of the Night Awakenings – You know those creepy scenes in scary movies where people are startled awake only to find a ghost kid with a knife starring at them? Yeah…well it is kind of like that with my toddler (minus the knife...thank goodness). It is common for me to wake up with a frightening little red-head staring over me while I sleep. She just stares…doesn’t say anything. Scares the S*!t out of me!

Just like people love scary movies even though they are terrifying, we do love our (sometimes rotten) little toddlers. They make us scream, cry, and panic, but we adore them anyway! They are our funny, adorable little monsters.

Happy Halloween!
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18 comments:

  1. Oh, yes, those talking toys! They scared the s.. out of me several times!!;))
    #FridayFrolics

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  2. EEEks. Yes, you are right. Especially when you wake up in the middle of the night and they are there staring at you - arrrrgh! #FridayFrolics

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    1. Yes, it is terrifying! Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. i am living in a horror movie. A rogue toy once nearlly gave me a heart attack! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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  4. When I first met my wife, her daughter had a doll that would sometimes talk even after we took the batteries out. Pretty freaky! #fridayfriviolity

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    1. No way. Really? That's scary! Thanks for stopping by.

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  5. The noise making toys are bad, but the mysterious quiet is the one that usually scares the heck out of me. And mine is 8!

    Thanks for sharing on #FridayFriolity

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  6. Replies
    1. It's my favorite. Really captures her personality. :)

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  7. Ha there really is nothing so creepy as waking up finding a pair of eyes watching you. My boys have both done some sleepwalking over the years, which makes it even more creepy as they don't talk or blink eek. Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

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  8. So funny - this is my life - thanks for linking to #sharewithme

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  9. Haha brilliant. I think waking up to a kid watching me with or without a knife would freak me out! Then again, I don't have kids, so it would be pretty dam freaky lol
    Thanks for linking up to #HalloweenHorrors :)
    Debbie

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    1. Then that would be really scary if there was a kid in your room! Thanks for stopping by.

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