I like to be on time. I try to be on time. Growing up, my dad drilled it into my head that “if you are not 15 minutes early, then you are late.” That is how he grew up, only my grandma’s rule was “if you are not 45 minutes early, you are late.” So thanks to my ultra-punctual relatives, it drives me completely crazy when people show up to things late. I understand that there are always emergencies and situations that are unavoidable and just can’t be helped, such as a car issues, traffic, weather, etc. Those are all very good and acceptable reasons to show up late to something. Well…my tune changed very quickly once I had kids. Now, I can’t seem to be on time for anything. Ever. Not work, parties, church, or even getting the kids to school sometimes! There are always emergencies that arise just as we are about to head out the door.
By emergencies I mean:
The kid’s socks aren’t “working” – I’m not even really sure what this actually means, but it is definitely a reoccurring problem at our house, usually two seconds before we are about to leave. Those darn socks just stop working.
Someone has to poop – (Or be changed). This is science. It WILL happen every time. I don’t quite understand what it is about the thought of leaving the house that makes them want to poop. But no matter what, it is a pooping emergency as soon as I say “get your shoes on”.
Dehydration– Just like clockwork, the very instant we need to get into the car to go somewhere, all three children are suddenly dying of thirst. Most of the time they like to wait until we are all buckled into the car and backing out of the driveway. That’s when the unquenchable thirst takes over.
Starvation - Much like dehydration, starvation sets in right when it is “go time”. Everybody is suddenly starving and needs to eat immediately. This is why my car looks the way it does. Crumbs and rotting food everywhere. If they were so hungry, you would think they would be more careful to get every last morsel into their mouths instead of all over the floor.
The toys – We can’t leave the house without finding the perfect stuffed animal or toy we haven’t played with in two years. Remember that stuffed dragon you won at the State Fair three years ago? We need that. Now…before we leave.
Family, friends, teachers, and co-workers I apologize. I am sorry that I probably won’t be on time for anything ever again. Or maybe at least not for quite a while.